magic

I’ve been wondering. When does it start. My great adventure. That moment that everything will change. That moment that creativity sparks. That moment that I will taste freedom the way I always dreamed of. Is it now? Is it tomorrow? Was It yesterday?

I think I am convinced it is now or never. It always was. It is a shift in perspective. A mindset. How can you explain freedom? Options are endless. I’m blessed. Blessed with a mind. Or burdened with it all. How do we look at things in the right light? If it’s dark out, a little light can be too bright. If it’s quiet, a tiny sound can make a lot of noise.

I’ve been having crazy adventures this year, more than I’ve ever had in all of my life. Now is the time that I have to remind myself I’m living my dream, right now. Now is the time, I’ve always been ‘waiting’ for. As my mind is often looking for excuses not to be my best self, looking for small problems to solve, or finding insignificant things on how any situation can be better, I often forget to appreciate the beautiful and perfectly imperfect things right in front of me.
It’s incredible that my mind keeps tricking me into believing that things should somehow be any different than they are.

I’ve been telling myself the start of “my book”, or “documentary” or any creative endeavour I am willing to share, should be different than that of the average Joe, instagrammer or YouTuber, honest and catchy enough to draw in a crowd, and most of all: it should start with an adventure.
I’ve been writing about myself all year, and the last thing I wish to do is start a story with “I am x and x, and I’ve always been x and x, I wish for x and x, etc. It’s been an interesting ride this year, trying to figure out who I think I am and how I perceive the world, but now it’s about damn time I start looking outside. What do I want to offer to the world?

So where do I begin?

A few weeks ago, I had a life changing experience with a woman I love, gaining experience, some grey hairs, and a lot of new appreciation for my body and mind. Together with this beautiful woman, I did a 10 day yoga and meditation retreat, after which we set out to Barcelona, where I got my first tattoo. I designed two tattoos in Sanskrit, one for me, and one for K. The results are great. I hope this feeling of pride can surprise me a little more often now and then. After roadtripping in K’s campervan for a few days, we made it on a ferry from Valencia to Ibiza. I was having trouble appreciating the moment today, so I thought it would be interesting to have a little mushroom chocolate.

I am not anymore the biggest fan of using drugs to change my mood, but the way psychedelics, even in small dosages, can change your perspective on your whole life, is magical.

And that’s what life is. Magical. The fact that we’re all here together on this rotating ball, is incredible. And it’s something to be celebrated. Any quiet and peaceful moment, our mind is probably trying to look for another problem to solve, but it’s sure as shit worth it to stand still for a moment, and just appreciate that nothing is wrong. It’s time to appreciate my mind for what it is. I’m always going to be seeking, thinking, wanting to improve. The trick is to see this as a trait, and not as a problem. I should be excited by the options, not struggle with them. 

This moment, this text and these photos are not supposed to be anything other than what they are. Just like you. Perfectly imperfect.

What is perfection anyway?