true colors
How can you show people your true colors with confidence, just by being who you are? My bar is always set high. That makes it hard when I try something I’ve never done before. I wish for a project in which I can put my heart and soul. To be completely honest, I never really found such a thing before in my life. Sure, there were fleeting moments of joy and happiness I found in my creativity, but I never started a project that I saw as an extension of myself. Lately I’ve been writing a lot, trying to put my thoughts on paper. This helped me immensely in my growth and my quest to find peace.
I think one of the problems I had, and probably still have to a certain degree, strengthened by my self-awareness and high bar, is that I can’t help to compare myself to what is already out there. I just ran a marathon in nearly 3 hours. You could say that that is amazing, and pretty fast, but you could also say that it is still an hour more than the top runners of our time, and I’m never going to be as fast. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to give it all I got, or give up before I even started.
Truth is, there is no need to compete. What makes you great and unique is just to be yourself. And I want to believe that my creativity and honesty is enough to give me the satisfaction I need, just by being myself. I wish to break through my self doubt, and be confident enough to just be, without worrying about what others may like or think. I believe many of us struggle to let go of the fear of being judged and are afraid to reach out and show people their true colors.
Slowly but surely I’m learning to let go. I finally feel like my confidence has got to a point that I can show myself to the world, without feeling like an imposter. I want to take a risk, and get rid of everything that feels like a burden. Being alone for a long time, without a wife and kids, I feel as if I have nothing to lose by stepping out of my comfort zone and following my heart. I still am a bit afraid to step into the unknown, which is completely normal of course, but my fear of regret for not trying to get out there, is even greater. The world has never been so connected, and I like to believe that finding like-minded people has never been as easy as it is today. I don’t know yet where this journey will take me, but I hope it will make me fall in love with life more than ever before. Of course a lot of your love has to come from within, and that is why I will keep writing about my experiences, trying to live mindfully and practice gratitude. I believe there is a way for me to get up each morning with a smile, and I’m determined to find it.
